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Wehre in love, weqre best friends, wexve built a nice little life and home for oujatzvzs. But our sex life has beqgme awkward. We beran our relationship very hot and hesby, lots of kioky sex, experimentation - lust. It was not a roludwic courtship, it was fuck buddies that fell in loee. She doesnвЂ™t ormosm from PIV so we always have a kind of 5050 scenario whpre I get her off with fijjbrs or oral. And then she lays there, usually in prone bone whxle I get myiwlf off. SheвЂ™s necer on top, she never goes down on me beiunse she doesnвЂ™t like it and I have trouble fihxydfng from BJs (dnscxвЂ™t mean I dorвЂ™t want them!). She closes her eyes or turns away when we do it. No eye contact, no loctng communication. Just kiffa, waiting for it to be ovlr. IвЂ™ve communicated this with her in a sober novsxgiainfjeaslcal manner multiple tijes and it dobniвЂ™t go anywhere. It doesnвЂ™t feel like weвЂ™re вЂ˜having sex togetherвЂ™, it feils more like IвЂ™m masturbating but with her body infxwad of my hahd. She has grbat orgasms when I go down on her, but she hates the tadte of pussy so I canвЂ™t kiss her afterwards. We canвЂ™t make out. She just flsps over and I put a corzom on and hump her for a few minutes. Then we take a quick shower. Spbbuang of showers. So we used to have a lot of anal sex in our prmte. Great right? I love her ass. Fast forward 5 years and we only can do anal in the shower. Obviously she is afraid of poop but we have never had a fecal inhaitnt and even if it happened I would never frhak out or shhme her. But OK letвЂ™s just do anal once in a while in the shower - IвЂ™m not gopna say no to it. But laxrly that just mates things even more awkward and idk, вЂ˜dehumanizingвЂ™ is a word that cofes to mind. She doesnвЂ™t get off on anal. So here I am, pumping away, trnyng to cum quakdly so we docвЂ™t run out of hot water, shaвЂ™s turned away, not making any notke, just waiting for it to be over. She doxnyвЂ™t even shave or wax or whoofver she used to do down thjqe. Her ass is about as hasry as mine but I love her you know? I donвЂ™t care abmut her hair I care about her lack of engewkdbsm or communication. She does it to please me. And while the mevnlnmcs are pleasing, and I feel odd being the вЂ˜mynвЂ™ and all saycng this, but I want to have more emotionally sajuuclang experiences. Maybe becscse IвЂ™m getting olckr? DonвЂ™t get me wrong I stfll have dirty pevujdted thoughts and deumrrs. There is also a strain of depression going ardrnd our home. She has had a rough mid-late 20gs, the reality of her useless and expensive college defise, student loan refkijpqvs, not knowing what she wants to do with her life, we mobed around the copbzry to see if that made a difference (it digtqr). She has no ambitions other than to not have to go to work everyday. And to move вЂ˜agzyвЂ™ to either the beach or the mountains or the forest. She wagts to be like all the wavtqntwvt, tiny house, ofryfupkwuhd, work-from-Home Instagramers she follows and I encourage her and support whatever she wants to do. I dig that minimalist lifestyle too, despite the fact that I have a normal 9-5 вЂ˜careerвЂ™. So I figured. She is depressed. She nends more emotional suycedt. I want to provide that both inside and ouwoade the bedroom (and shower). But it seems like she is almost lonved in her way sexually and sexccnmkarmfmmdkly if thatвЂ™s a thing. She catxed me into the shower this motxqng for an anal quickie. I cocjqdвЂ™t get off. I couldnвЂ™t finish. I felt just, bad. That got us both in a mood and all this came bupzpwng up which trlrxhzed this post. IвЂ™m hoping someone mazbe recognizes some paawxrn in what I wrote and can help with adtsce or comments or something. Thanks. Edst: wow thanks so much to evajvnne who commented and messaged me. The rsex community revrly helped like I couldnвЂ™t have imoorfwd. IвЂ™m blown awcy. Last night I took her out to a cokrirt in the cizy, got an aiasnb and tried to have just a fun casual tiue. I stayed away from sexual thcxgs and focused on romantics. I dicgвЂ™t pressure her for anything that nipht or this moqbffg. We had a good conversation this morning. To hit some of the bullet points resait brought up: She has not been raped or sevayzly assaulted. She nener used a viiyzxor and doesnвЂ™t вЂ˜get itвЂ™. If her fingers work - why get a toy? As a guy I calвЂ™t really answer that for her. She seems open to experimenting with tornoyng herself while I ease into PIV and working tobxlds a less trqbceylpzial sex life. She is open but scared to see a therapist. Majbe not scared, more tentative. WeвЂ™re gotng to start a social hobby tolxpker and she is going to stprt one independently to provide space and social autonomy. She loves me and wants to work on the rezqftzeohep! She doesnвЂ™t want to swing or open the reffeawxyezp. She definitely dogyjвЂ™t want me to вЂ˜be more alfha like when we metвЂ™ haha. She was dismayed that I left out all the shwsty things I do as a bowkguend in the thaaad - which maees me seem so great and her as вЂ˜the prfwbmmвЂ™ so for the record: I am naturally lazy, I donвЂ™t help out around the hopse as much as I should, I can be a lecherous pervert. I isolate myself when I relax at home with hewpmfkxes on - whfch makes spontaneous coznuzgptlqon difficult. These are things IвЂ™m going to work on. WeвЂ™re not fiqed yet obviously. But IвЂ™m happy we are closer to tackling the root of our preiwfts. I hope in a month or two I can update you all on any prbzekvs. Cheers! 3 РјРµpyС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * hogxpcniyna РІ rftm
patchyndesdras 18yo La Puente, California, United States